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家书 | 写给即将上大学的你

美国高中生毕业太隆重,庆祝活动多如牛毛。不过很有意思。我学到很多东西。前段时间,教会让我们给各自毕业的小孩写段祝福,在毕业祝福上念给小孩听。我自然也是写了一些,多为土味大白话,但父母总是要对孩子有所期望和嘱托。记录下来,共勉,大家也未必会认同我的观点。出于过去的职业毛病,翻译成了中文。
 
父母的祝福
 
从一开始你就是我们的祝福。我们为你感到自豪。这些年来,我一直通过博客和其他社交媒体帖子书写你的故事,结果成了写手!所以谢谢你!很高兴你愿意用你的才能侍奉上帝,这是你成长的基石,力量的源泉。我有很多想说的话,所以我只是罗列一下。相信我,我想说的远远不止这些。
 
为你的大学感到自豪,并努力让你的大学为你感到骄傲。不管你未来做什么,都要尽心尽力。
 
进大学后,找到它独特的优势,并按照其优势,组织自己的生活。磨刀不误砍柴工,一开始要迅速发现学校提供的教学资源,知道需要的时候去哪里。不要纠缠于学校的缺点。
 
一日三餐按规律吃饭,不要功课忙起来饿了才吃,身体需要节奏。
 
经常锻炼。使用手机应用程序跟踪自己的锻炼,以免偷懒。移动程序就是派这种用场的。
 
时常充电,重新得力。良好的睡眠或短暂的午睡,将使你回复精力,更有效率。守安息日的人不会倦怠。
 
注意安全。知道在需要时何处、如何获得帮助。出门时,让别人知道你要去哪里。使用优步或步行时,开启手机的跟踪功能。用大脑记住常见的电话号码。
 
远离麻烦(酒精,疯狂派对等)。不要觉得不妨尝试一下,结果以后再说。你和麻烦掰手腕,可能不是它的对手。
 
达拉斯的交通可能很糟糕。如果需要去校外其他地方,给自己留出额外的时间。
 
交一些好朋友,但不要为了过多友谊而分散精力。受欢迎这种品质价值被高估了。
 
上大学压力是免不了的。与我们和其他可靠资源联系,以获取建议。感觉不舒服时尽快寻求帮助。
 
上大学是远游的开始,但随时欢迎你回来,我们也去看望。若不多联系,或许只是不想成为直升机父母。你需要时间和空间去发展自我。
 
明智地管理时间,或者更确切地说,明智地管理精力。大学的自由超过中小学。一不小心,就可能压力山大。不要凡事等到最后一分钟。
 
在大学期间,你将享有更多选择的自由。生活无非是一系列的选择。选择有两大类:一类有最佳答案,另一类是有得有失,需要权衡。学习不仅仅是积累知识,而是学会做出正确选择。凡事不要急于做出决定。彻底研究以做出明智的选择。从此之后,为自己选择的路始终如一,不要瞻前顾后。你应该有雄心去做到:你走在哪里,哪里就是最好的道路。
 
保持智力和艺术上的好奇心。你在大学和生活中的时间是有限的。无论读什么,听什么,还是看什么,都要力求做到丰富和拓展。不要满足于同龄人的趣味。有志者造就趣味,平庸者追随趣味。
 
带着反思和沉思过每一天。用计划和清单开始新的一天,用日记和祈祷送走一天。
 
找到如同现在教会Huddle Group或是礼拜乐队那样让你学习和茁壮成长的社区。再忙也要去教堂。
 
不要满足于成为环境的产物,而是对所在环境有所造就。不要坐等事情发生。活着有目的。要主动寻求资源,寻求指导,寻求智慧,寻求真相,寻求上帝。
 
你将不可挽回地生活在技术世界中。使用它,你要产出多于消耗。你不要被大数据创造的泡沫困住:随着消费内容的加赠,算法将尝试推送你喜欢的内容。你喜欢的并不总是你需要的。订阅一些高质量的播客,扩大你的想法。不要仅限于看屏幕找乐子。收听你所在领域的顶级播客。
 
说话要有建设性。这里我做得失败,你可以更好。积极的话语能刺穿最难缠者的心。“良言如同蜂房,使心觉甘甜,使骨得医治。”(箴言16:24)。
 
对人有耐心。每个人都有你未必知晓的挣扎。
 
你的世界现在正式扩大。你会遇到比你有钱,更智慧,更能干的人。无论如何,你永远不要自惭形秽。你走到今天是值得庆贺的。别管别人的起点是什么,如果你愿意,没有人可以阻碍你的成长。你的局限多属自己的选择。
 
对那些不如你幸运的人充满同情。永远不要成为势利的人。若有机会改变他人,就不要放过这种机会。人生的价值,多半取决于我们能够在多大程度上祝福他人。
 
感谢人们为你做的事。永远不要对他人的付出想当然。这不仅仅是为了他们,也是为了自己。感恩是一种操练,可以帮助你看到人们的好处,这会让你自己更幸福。
 
享受未来的日子,让它们变得更棒。
 
 
Parent's Blessings
- Berlin Fang
 
You’ve been an absolute blessing for us since the very beginning. We are so proud of you. I kept writing about you through blogs and other social media posts all these years that I became a writer as a result! So thank you! We are especially glad that you choose to serve God with your talents. You have chosen a strong foundation for your growth and an everlasting fountain for strength.
 
I have a lot of things I would like to say, so let me arrange them using bullet point items, and believe me, there are more I would like to say:
 
Be proud of your university and try to make your university proud of you. In what you choose to do, be awesome.
 
Find the university’s unique strengths and work with them. Find out at the beginning what resources they have so that you can make use of them. Do not dwell on its shortcomings.
 
Eat according to routine. Do not just wait until you are hungry. Your body needs a rhythm.
 
Exercise often. Use an app to track your exercises to hold yourself accountable. That’s the kind of things mobile apps are designed for.
 
Recharge and re-energize. A good sleep or a short nap will restore you into an efficient person. Keeping Sabbath will keep burnout away.
 
Be safe. Know where and how to get help when needed. When you travel, let someone know where you are going. Turn on tracking features of your phone when you are using Uber or just walking. Remember common phone numbers.
 
Stay away from trouble (alcohol, crazy parties, etc.). Do not think you give trouble a try and deal with the consequences later on. Trouble has tight grips.
 
Dallas traffic can be bad. Leave yourself extra time if you need to go to other places off campus.
 
Have some good friends but do not spread yourself thinly in many friendships. Popularity is overrated.
 
College can be stressful at times. Talk to us and other trusted resources for advice. Seek help when you are not feeling well.
 
Though going to college marks a transition away from home, know that we would also enjoy having you home, or visiting you. If we don’t contact, it means we try to avoid becoming helicopter parents. You deserve to have the time and space to develop yourself.
 
Manage time wisely, or rather, manage your energy wisely. College gives you more freedom than K12 schools. If you are not careful, you can easily overstress yourself. Don’t wait for the last minute.
 
At college, you will enjoy a lot of freedom of making your own choices. Life, in general, is a series of choices you make. There are two main types of them: Some have the best possible answers, while others have tradeoffs. Learning is not just about accumulating knowledge, but it is a process to equip you for making good choices. Do not rush into decisions. Research thoroughly to make informed choices. After that, commit to it and rejoice in what that path gives you. You can turn that path into the best possible path you could take.
 
Remain intellectually and artistically curious. Your time at college and in life is finite, spend it reading, hearing and watching content that enriches and stretches you. Do not settle for what is trending for your age. Have the ambition to set trends instead of following them.
 
Live your days reflectively and contemplatively. Start your mornings with a plan and a checklist. End your day with journaling and prayer.
 
Find communities like your huddle group or worship group in which you can learn and thrive. Go to church even if you are busy.
 
Choose to be an agent of change in your environment, instead of trying to be the product of one. Do not just wait for something to happen. Have a purpose. Seek resources. Seek guidance. Seek wisdom. Seek truth. Seek God.
 
You will irrevocably live in the world of technology. Use it to produce more than what you consume. Go beyond the bubbles that big data create for you. As you consume more and more content, algorithms will try to push content you like. What you like is not always what you need. Subscribe to some quality podcast to expand your mind and listen to them instead of being limited to watching the screen. Listen to top-rated podcasts from your field(s).
 
Speak constructively. This is not my strength, but it can be yours. Positive words pierce through the hearts of the toughest people. “Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones” (Proverbs 16:24).
 
Be patient with people. Everyone is dealing with issues you may not be aware of.
 
Your world is now officially expanded. You will meet people who have more, know more, and can do more. Just hold your chin high. You have earned your accomplishments and you will continue to earn, no matter where everyone else starts from. Your limit is often your own choice.
 
Have compassion towards others who are less fortunate than yourself. Never become a snob. Do not miss any opportunity of making someone’s day. Our value is measured by how much we are able to bless others.
 
Thank people for the good things they do to you. Never take them for granted. It is not just for them. Gratitude is an exercise to see the good in people. It will make you a happier person.
 
Enjoy the days ahead and make them great.
 
文章原题为:给毕业生的祝福
 
 
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